Thursday, February 28, 2013

It's My Birthday and I'll Dance if I Want to

Remember that story about me finally running into someone who knew me at Kroger?  Remember how excited I was? 

Well, scratch that.

It is much better to stay in the shadows.  The shadows where it’s okay to wear sweat pants and homemade ear bands (or buddy bands if you’re cool enough to remember that episode of Save by the Bell)

Here’s why:

My birthday was last week.  I turned old… so some friends from work took me out to celebrate.  They decided I needed to experience the “Tractor Bar”.  The bar where drinks are cheap and the men are as old as your father.

There were MAYBE 5 people in the entire place before we showed up with our dancing shoes on.  We quickly paid for some music and got on the dance floor.  Shortly after our dancing had begun a friendly gentleman named Rick decided to show us his moves.  He had a bounce in his step and a swing in his arms.  He didn’t need anyone to party with, but I think he was glad we were there to join him!  We quickly coined the term “the jump rope” for Rick’s one trick pony… I mean dance move.

A game of pool and a few Britney Spear’s songs later, I decided Rick and I needed to have a dance off… just us two in the middle of the tractor bar.  It could have easily been a scene from Save the Last Dance or Buckwild.  The night was a blast, and while I’m sure Rick probably disagrees, I think I took home the win with my bend and snap and butter churner moves.

My birthday is over now, but Jump Rope Rick has remained.  He is the daily talk of conversation at work, and we typically always find an excuse to do the jump rope move.  (ie: walking to the car, answering phones, or simply breathing) I figured my time with Rick was over, and I was okay with that.  He left me with great memories of my 25th birthday, and that's all I expected from him...but that wasn't the last time I would see ole' Rickster.

Yesterday, I ran to Kroger for a few meaningless items.  As I was walking aimlessly through the store, I saw him.   There, standing in the produce aisle, was Jump Rope Rick.  I quickly darted the other way, hid behind some burt's bees and began to pray.

For the love of everything that is good and holy PLEASE don’t let Jump Rope Rick see me! PLEASE! 

I decided to make my way to the back of Kroger and hide… for real.  I texted all my friends who went to the Tractor Bar that night to give them the Alert, “Jump Rope Rick is in Kroger!  I don’t know if I should run or dance!  I figured it was probably best to hide out and play on my phone until Rick left Kroger.  I only lasted about five minutes before I started getting Krogerphopic.  I managed to convince myself Rick was gone, and made my way to the deli section. 

I saw Rick pass again, but this time he smiled at me. 

I should run.  I should leave my buggy right here and RUN.  I’m too embarrassed to face this man.  He saw my butter churner move!!

Once Rick was completely passed me I think to myself, Whew!  That wasn’t so bad!  Rick is nice. He probable doesn’t even remember me anyway!

Rick turns back with an arm extended and a finger pointed straight at me and shouts, “ARE YOU THE GIRL I HAD A DANCE OFF WITH?!”

I shamefully replied, “Yep, that’s me.”  

Are you kidding me, Rick?  I know three whole people in Lewisburg and you’re going to go and REMEMBER ME and OUR DANCE OFF???  Geez! 

From now on, I’m only having dance offs in vacation cities.  I will never make friends otherwise.  

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