Isolation and its Correlation with Bouts of Vacuuming

If someone were to ask me to describe in one word what the medical school experience has been like thus far, I would say isolated.

¹iso·late

vt \ˈī-sə-ˌlāt\

: to set apart from others: as a : to separate (one with a contagious disease) from others not similarly infected b : to separate (as a chemical compound) from all other substances : obtain pure or in a free state 

Medical school has physically separated me from family and friends.

Medical school has oftentimes physically separated me from W as he works long/night shifts.

Medical school has most definitely separated me emotionally from W.

Medical school has very adeptly separated me intellectually from W.

Medical school has seen me atrophied on the couch, flipping through channels, isolated from fun, activity, society, life, on numerous weekend evenings as W worked/studied/sold his soul.

I blame medical school for isolating me from my skinny jeans.

Medical school has isolated me from the South Carolina coast for over a year now.

There will be no forgiving medical school for that one.

I find that medical school is always the best scapegoat for most of mine and maybe even the world's troubles and worries.

For instance, global warming.

I blame medical school.

So, how do you know if you are isolated?

Do you find yourself calling your parents randomly and frequently just to ask them such questions as,

"What did you guys have for dinner?"

"Did you go out to eat this weekend?"

"Can you send me your Sams card so I can buy those big blocks of cheese?"

"What are your plans for the night?" (By the way, its a Tuesday, and you know good and well that your parents are always in bed by 9--9:15 tops.)

"Are you sitting on the porch?"

"When did I stop liking ham?"

"Did you buy anything this weekend?"

Have you talked to your cat lately? Admit it.

Have you contemplated the drawbacks of Netflix? I mean, how long does it take for them to update their instant streaming new releases!?!

Do you know how many kids your Kroger cashier has and what ages they were when they stopped wetting the bed?

Do you talk about reality tv stars like they're your BFFs? 

Do you worry about them between episodes?

Do you vacuum your entire apartment every day? I find that the more frequently I vacuum, the lonelier I am. Case in point: W worked three 12 hour shifts for the past three weeks. The apartment was vacuumed 3-4 times each week.

If you do any of these things, then, yes, you are extremely isolated.

Seek help ASAP.

-b